When I grow up...

What do I want to be when I grow up?

I have never known what I wanted to "be" or do. Things have just always fallen into place. I have always put boys ahead of everything else, so I have always moved a little slower. For example, I spent so much time with my first boyfriend, I hardly had any time for school. I actually flunked a class because I would miss class to be fighting with him. It was awful. Both the flunking and the fighting. (YES, I ACTUALLY DID NOT DO WELL IN A CLASS. However, that's not the point...)

Despite all this, I like to think of having put men first as meaningful detours because I was able to accomplish and learn some beautiful things in light of those circumstances. I would not take any moment of my life back. I am where I am because of the circumstances that have led me here and I like who I am, and what I know.

On account of certain circumstances with my first boyfriend, I was able to meet Jason. A little boy who had autism. He was beautiful, inside and out. He taught me how to be a teacher. He is the reason I am in San Francisco. Jason learned to speak as we worked together. He let me in and we were changed in the process. It was nothing short of miraculous and beautiful. My experience with Jason's language acquisition and my role in that is why I am fascinated with child development, specifically language. I learned how integral and amazing the gift of language is. The fact that I can communicate my thoughts to whomever reads this blog is so cool. Or how authors such as Michael Pollan and Stuart Brown are able get me thinking about nutrition and play is so phenomenal. I thank God for that everyday. How other people can share their perspectives to influence the perspectives of others, that's pretty incredible. Anyway, obviously, I love words.


Also because of my current (second/last) ex-boyfriend and also because of certain circumstances, I was able to study environmental sustainability. I was also exposed to things about nutrition and the environment that I had no idea I innately believed and now had words for. I can now tell you what to read to help yourself be a more environmentally conscious person. I can now tell you what to read in order to learn more about food and how we can help ourselves and help the earth. Food, the earth, and nature are things I have learned to better articulate my beliefs around because of the circumstances surrounding my ex.

Back to the point: What do I want to be when I grow up?

Well, I want to have my own set of developments based on personal research.

Hooray! I finally have an answer to that question. Ok... so what now? What do I do now?

I want to own personal new and refined set of ideas based on things I have learned just through living. What does this mean? Ughh. I don't really know. As I was going through this process of thinking, I thought about the things that I am interested in and decided to start from there.

Things I am interested in and know a lot about:


-Children and autism: Physical and compositional brain development, language development, logical development, emotional development, social development, organization of sensorial stimuli.

-Nature/food: how to preserve our connection to it because it is the key to our development and survival.


Now I am stuck. I want to put these two together into something I do for a living!!! I need to figure out next steps.